They Know You're the Children's Pastor Because...

• The last time you made it to the adult service you tried to do the motions to Amazing Grace.
• You were banned from the produce aisle of the local grocery store for singing the theme song to Veggie Tales.
• Your summer begins when VBS ends.
• Your version of Jesus’ first miracle has Him turning water into Kool Aid.
• You once gave your spouse the quiet seat prize after dinner.
• You rolled your eyes when the pastor told the congregation how much the choir members sacrifice to serve God.
• You are starting to have meaningful conversations with your favorite puppet.
• In the church foyer everyone runs when they see you coming for fear you’re trying to recruit them.
• You’re afraid to close your eyes when you pray.
• When people ask you how many children you have you tell them between 60 and 70.
• You carry crackers in your pockets.
• You have a helium tank in your office.
• Your cracker and juice budget is bigger than your salary.
• You buy everything in bulk.
• You honesty believe you are only doing this temporarily until the church finds someone else.
• You were stunned to learn that some scissors are pointed.
• You once got stuck in the playground tube at McDonald’s.
• You scotch-guarded your entire minivan.
• The children’s workers are taking bets on how long you will last.
• You once cut up your pajamas to build a flannel graph board.
• You plan an event for 200 and 50 show up.
• You plan an event for 50 and 200 show up.
• You prefer a root canal to meeting with the church board.
• You know how to pray for healing for dogs, cats and goldfish.
• The Senior Pastor has forgotten your name.
• You have forgotten the Senior Pastor’s name.
• The church janitor won’t speak to you.
• You understand the terms: tinkle, winkie tink, stinker, and TT
• You’ve never heard a guest speaker at your church.
• You went to a four star restaurant and requested animal crackers for dessert.
• You once sat up straight in the middle of the night and yelled at the top of your lungs, “IS THE BIG SERVICE OUT YET?!!!!”